There is something profound in Jack’s gaze. He almost never stops moving, exploring, touching, tasting, engaging the world in his own unique ways. He is unable to speak and tell us his how he feels, or what he wants, or needs. So we look for other cues, and learn to communicate on his terms. I love to make photographs of Jack, and capture those moments when he stops, to engage, and give you the gaze. I am learning to record the essence of Jack. Jack has had a difficult life, but is able to capture the hearts of many people in his life. Jackie lives with profound autism. God bless Jack, and the people who care about him.
Monthly Archives: September 2008
This is what I look like underwater.
seafloor_abstract, originally uploaded by bphall.
Cruising along in thirty feet of water at Bird Rock, Catalina Island, CA, just a foot or so from the bottom, I look down and notice the rock, and urchins, and the colorful encrusting sea life all around. And yes, I see a face. But it’s not a face, it’s an abstraction, a visual mondegreen painted on the sea floor. Does anyone know of a word that defines something seen, at first glance, that is, something else entirely?
In June of 2002, I snapped a photo that changed our lives forever. We knew something was amiss with our sweet twins, but looking back it was more than just a feeling. Out pediatrician said it was too soon to tell, but I knew we needed to know more. A few months later, a family friend who worked as a special education teacher came by for a visit and spent a little time with the boys. He pulled me aside and told me he was certain they had autism. I’m not a doctor, but all the signs are there. They don’t look at you, they look through you, he said. And the toe-walking, and perseveration, and, on and on… Six and a half years later and the boys live with severe, profound autism. We have tried countless, unproven, unscientific, and untested remedies that have been promised to improve symptoms. GFCF, really expensive vitamins in huge doses, b12 injection, chelation, behavioral therapy, sensory integration, and the list goes on and on. And the money, enough to buy a house. People are making millions, no billions on a growing group of parents desperately trying to help their children. “Wouldn’t you do anything for your children?” Anything? NO! Beware of snake oil salesman. See Daniel Dage’s blog, The Life That Chose Me, and read his post, The Fleecing of the Autism Community.
It was a dark and stormy night… writing artists statements, biographies, and the like are an unpleasant, challenging task, for many, with the exception of the more hubristic among us. My current theme is that I use photography to see, or I use borrowed eyes, robot eyes. I am legally blind, with clear eyesight at about four inches from my nose, so camera lenses and technology level the field for me somewhat. More on this later. I found a blog by Paul Butzi on this topic, and he clearly states some of what I’ve been thinking all along. Like Paul, I continue to struggle with these writing assignments. Paul Butzi’s Musings on Photography. Please share your thoughts, ideas, and links on this subject.
cactus flower, originally uploaded by bphall.
Crystal Cove State Park, CA taken May 08. A cactus bloom on a very windy day. I love the contrast of the blurred area in contrast to sharper area of the scene. This spring I spent many days out in the park looking for unique and unusual subjects. I’m rarely disappointed. Picture of the week 5/9/08 – 5/15/08, Nature’s Best Magazine website. www.naturesbestmagazine.com
love of water, originally uploaded by bphall.
Back in June, I took this photo of my son playing with some cups, buckets, and a water hose, in the backyard. Like his twin brother, J. struggles with severe, profound autism. No, not like the kind you generally see in the media. He has no language, cannot speak, is not potty trained, yet. He has little to no receptive language, but we are hopeful. However, he is our son, and is a beautiful boy who loves to play in the water anywhere he can find it. In the bathroom, in the kitchen, in a puddle, if there’s water J. is there, splashing, playing and engaging the world on his terms. Yet, his way of expressing himself, does not work in the world where most of us live. What appears to be a little boy having fun with water is actually a boy out of control, engaged in self stimulating behavior that is extremely disruptive. So, we must limit, and redirect such behavior constantly in the hope of modifying j’s behavior so that he can better manage in the “typical” world of his peers. There is much debate on this topic in the autism community, but as my wife, and close friend Teri B. like to remind me that for kids like J. and J. there is no “sometimes” in autism. Yet, as his father, I must sometimes let him enjoy his perseveration, and self-stimulatory behavior and be a kid.
balloon_web, originally uploaded by bphall.
Last May, I was invited to the Great Park, on the old El Toro Marine Base, by friend, and photographer Doug M. I am legally blind, and can see large, well lit, shapes at night. So much of the time I was feeling my way around in the dark. Something I do fairly well. The evening was a total blast watching a group of really creative people make photographs for a future project. I don’t drive, so when I get the chance to do things like this, it’s a real treat, and breaks the monotony of isolation. And, I had the chance to make a few snaps in the dark. Thanks to Doug McCulloh and his pals. See McCulloh’s brilliant photography and writing at http://www.douglasmcculloh.com
Giant Kelp, originally uploaded by bphall.
I love diving the kelp forests off the California coast, and this photograph of a tiny section of Macrocystis pyrifera exemplifies the extraordinary features of this sea plant.
yellow flower, originally uploaded by bphall.
I’m always looking for another point of view, particularly on days when I am distracted and troubled by life’s obstacles. This photo is my attempt to capture the explosive energy of the sun in horrible midday sun. Or is it really such bad light? I got down on my stomach pointing up angle with the sun backlighting the flower. Nikon d200, 60mm macro. I like the result.
